


After the Tone

by Mad_Lori



Series: Performance in a Leading Role [7]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Performance in a Leading Role, Voicemail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 10:58:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Lori/pseuds/Mad_Lori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Sherlock are busy men who can't always pick up the phone when it rings.  Voicemail ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After the Tone

**Author's Note:**

> This ficlet consists of a series of voicemails. They are not meant to tell a story or occur in any particular order.

——-

_You’ve reached Sherlock Holmes. If you don’t know what to do next, I weep for the gene pool and your presence in it. Try not to ramble, include any and all relevant information, and for God’s sake don’t be tiresome about it._

_Hi, you’re through to John.  Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.  If it’s urgent, try texting me, and if that doesn’t work, try Harry._

——-

“I can’t believe you haven’t changed that bloody outgoing message.  Why aren’t you picking up?  I thought we were meeting at the place by the thing.  I rang Sally – she’s not with you?  I’m confused.  Anyway, I’ll be there in ten.”

——-

“Can I not leave town for a mere twenty-four hours without seeing you in the press wearing something unforgivable?  Really, John.  At least I know why you’ve turned your phone off.”

——-

“You forgot your script notes, again.  I’m getting you a backpack, like in primary school.  It _will_  have Dora the Explorer on it.  I’m going by Greg’s office on my way out to Santa Barbara, Sally can collect them there.  You’re welcome.”

——-

“Pick up.  Pick up.  John.”  [pause]  “Dammit.”

——-

_You’ve reached Sherlock Holmes.  You know what to do.  Is that better, John?_

_You’re through to John,  please leave a message, unless you’re my husband and are ringing me just to be bothersome, in which case stuff it._

_——-_

“I didn’t want to wake you this morning and a note seemed too impersonal, so this will have to do.  It would be the considerate thing to do to wish you luck at the read, although luck is not really required given your intimidating amount of acting skill, which is sure to be evident to anyone with a functioning nervous system.  I’ll expect a report later.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”  [pause]  “I love you.”

——-

“Can you stop at the shops on your way home and pick up two bottles of the Belle Glos?  Paul and Jenny are coming over for dinner.  Is this enough warning?  I got in trouble last time.  What a terrible thing, to get in trouble.  I do so hate being punished for my misdeeds.”

——-

“Joooooooohn.  I have been waiting between set-ups for two hours now.  I have never in my life been this bored.  You are required to entertain me.  Wasn’t that in our vows in some fashion?”  [sigh]  “John.  John.  Pick up.  Or teleport yourself to the set with a deck of cards.  I demand this.”

——-

“Well, that was the worst screen-test I’ve ever had.  Who on earth thought it would be a great idea for me to read for that part, again?  Oh yes, it was YOU, Mr. Super Genius.  Thanks ever so.”

——-

_You’ve reached Sherlock Holmes.  Leave a message.  If it’s urgent, try John, he probably knows where I am._

_You’re through to John Watson.   Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you soon.  If it’s urgent, try Sherlock, if you’ve got my private number, you’ve probably got his as well._

——-

“I’m about halfway on.  That is, halfway there.  I stopped off for lunch.” [pause]  “Driving is tiresome.  Let’s hire a chauffeur.”  [pause]  “I was thinking that…oh, hang it.  I really rang because…I just wanted to hear your voice.”

——-

“I’m sorry, I know it’s the middle of the night.  Your phone must be off, this went straight to voicemail.  At least I didn’t wake you, although I sort of hoped I would.  I just wanted to talk.  I hoped you’d be up.”  [pause]  “I miss you.  Three days feels like a long time.  I don’t know how I did those two months you were in Prague.  You looked so gorgeous at the Prada party, I’m sorry I missed it.  Sometimes I just like to stand back and watch other people interact with you.  They try to play it natural, but everyone goes a bit wobbly.  Especially if you smile.  They smile back and nod their heads and act cool, but I can see that look in their eyes, that starstruck look.  You can’t help it.  Sometimes I feel like that’s my superpower, that I’m used to you now so I can resist…but other times I’m a bit sad that I’m not as dazzled as I once was.”  [pause]  “Oh, who am I kidding, I’m still dazzled.”

——-

“All right, I’ve tried three times, you’re not picking up, and now you’ve turned off your phone.  I can only assume that you’re not interested in discussing the matter.  I couldn’t continue our conversation, I was already late – you claimed to understand, but now you’re refusing to let me explain.”  [sigh]  “I’m waiting for a lighting change.  I’ve got half an hour, at least.  Have mercy on me and call me back so we can settle this.  I find this all inconveniently distracting while I’m trying to work.” [pause]  “That, what I just said, is true but not the whole truth.  It is distracting to try to work while we’re quarreling, but that isn’t my primary concern.  Having upset you is…upsetting to me.  It is painful to see anger on your face and hear it in your voice.  I have become too dependent on seeing you look at me with love.”

——-

“Can you swing by the set on your way to the Valley and switch cars with me?  I want to get yours detailed.  That guy did such a fantastic job on mine.  Oh, and bring my spare keys, too.  Thanks, luv.”

——-

 “If you’ve the time this afternoon, I find that I have quite a craving for that salmon thing you make.  Any chance of having that for dinner?  I’ll pick up a pint of Jeni’s at the market on the way home, if that sweetens the deal at all, pun intended.”

——-

“I know you’re on set.  I just wanted to leave this for when you got back to your trailer.  It’s New Year’s Eve and I may have already started in on that hard cider Irene gave us, so sorry if I’m a bit maudlin.  I’m just sitting here waiting for you to get home so we can go to this stupid thing but I hope you’re ready to be snogged senseless at midnight.  I can’t believe what’s happened.  Last New Year’s Eve we were anxious about the Oscars.  The previous New Year’s Eve, I hadn’t met you.  I think I spent it with Harry, and she probably faffed off before the ball fell.  I’d more or less decided I was going to spend my life alone, and now it’s only two years on and I’ve got a gorgeous husband I adore and more happiness than I thought was possible.  I just….perhaps I’ve had more than a little of this cider.” [sigh] “I love you so much.  I thought you might need to hear that today.”

——-

  _You’ve reached John and Sherlock.  We’re not at home right now.  Leave a message, or ring one of our mobiles if you need to reach us.  If this is a business call, first of all stop calling our private landline, and second of all, please call our manager, Irene Adler.  If you’re a friend, we’ll get back to you soon._

_——-_


End file.
